The year 2011... the month of February... i'm single, not lonely, not searching and very happy. lemme tell you why.
i made a commitment to God that this year will be all about getting to know what makes Him tick, what puts a smile on His face, and what pleases Him. enough of all the worrying, the fretting, the impatience and even snatching things away from him when i think he's being too slow to respond (a.k.a the "do-it-myself" syndrome).
being a christian isn't the easiest thing in the world. as much as we are made to believe that we won't struggle, or as much as we are made to believe that once we ask for something we'll get it, bla bla bla... doesn't work darling. the life of a christian is the hardest thing to live because you are trying so hard to let go of yourself in order to be more like Him, but then with worldly pleasures, external factors and every other thing that seems to be working against you, sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and give up.
and you know what? i gave up a lot of times. i couldn't understand why my story always seemed different and why i never seemed to get it right. ok, enough of the long gist.
i got tired of struggling and making mistakes. i got tired of always wanting God to do something for me and not thinking of what i can do for Him in return, i got tired of always being on the edge and getting very impatient and touchy with very little and irrelevant things. i got tired of playing "God" in my life and i knew that it was time to let the one who created me take the wheels, and that's exactly what i've decided to do this year.
how do i plan on doing this? worship more...i have worship songs everywhere...from my car to my phones to my bedroom, and ever so often i turn it on and just sing along and allow His Spirit minister to me. i'm spending more time in prayer, consciously making time for it rather than the 5 minute mumble i was fond of. fasting... not something i know how to do very well, but i'm making an effort and hoping to fast at least every other month. not just because i want an answer to my prayers, but just to toughen my spirit man and to train my spirit to be more "Holy Spirit Conscious". i've learned also to chill out on the father give me rants and just generally ask Him to teach me how to please him, because when my ways please Him even my enemies will be at peace with me. and of course, if i seek his kingdom and its righteousness, you know what comes next dontya???
all in all, it's working perfectly. i'm happy, at peace, not struggling, not worrying, not fretting, and I AM SOOOOOOO LOVING IT!!!!
Wow! Im glad you're loving the phase you're at right now!
ReplyDeleteReally gonna have to come to you for tips on the 'fasting' bit. having hard times with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd i identify with you on the incessant listening to Worship bit.
The song plays in your head even long after.
Been six months down the line. hope it's going exactly like you wanted.